.restless.

My first ever sprint triathlon is the day after tomorrow...and I am already thinking about what I want to train for next. Isn't that crazy? I mean, I should be thinking about the triathlon itself, wondering about the blue green algae level in the water or what I'll do if my bike breaks down or if I do something really stupid like forget my running shoes. But no, I'm not thinking about that. Well, I am...a little. But mostly I'm thinking about what comes next. Will it be another tri? Maybe a 5K or 10K. Maybe another half marathon. (No,still not thinking full marathon quite yet!).

This way of thinking is nothing new for me. In fact, this sense of "restlessness" as I call it, is a very real way of life for me. It seems just when those "moments" in life come (you know, the ones you are supposed to cherish?), I can't help but starting thinking about what's next. It's like I'm afraid that if I don't think about what's next, I'm going to miss it, or not be ready for it.

These last few months I have woken up at the crack of dawn to hit the pool or spinning class or the pavement for a run, and I am almost sad the tri is Saturday because I am already missing my training schedule. It was my routine. And now my routine is going to change. And that scares me.

So, suffice it to say, I feel anything but fearless right now. Yet, at the same time, I feel empowered. I feel excited. I know that I have put in the time and effort in my training and it will pay off. I know that Saturday will be filled with nerves and excitement and an emotional high that will last beyond that afternoon. I'm trying to focus on that right now--the end goal of all of this. Yet at the same time, my feelings right now remind me that this is what life is about--not just the goals, but the journeys that get us to them.

There are always new goals to set, new races to run, new scenery to enjoy. As my boss said this morning during a brainstorming meeting--"You can't learn something you already know." So...to keep learning, I have to shake up that oh so familiar routine. I have to choose a new race, find a new challenge, set a new PR. I have to take what I've learned in this amazing training process and apply it to something new, expand on it, and set a new goal. At the same time, though, I can't let that thinking take away from being "in the moment." I don't want to miss the spirit of this stop along the journey. What a shame that would be.

So for Saturday, my motto is going to be "just breathe." Just breathe and take it all in. I know it's going to be amazing.