change

I hate winter. I despise it. It's cold and gray and stale. 

Getting out of the house with two children in tow, bundled up, bundled down for car seats, then bundled up again. 

It's the stuff of nightmares.

Snow is only sparkly and beautiful and romantic when it's swirling around Christmas lights or tacky lawn decorations. Mittens and scarves and boots are only fun accessories the first few times you put them on. After a while I feel like I need more room to breathe, more fresh air to inhale, more sunshine to warm my skin.

This is why I hate winter. 

But oh how I love that the seasons change. Fall is upon us and it has been gorgeous this year! Ribbons of gold, red, orange and purple have painted our walks and drives and sunset viewings. 

But all of that is quickly changing.

Those rich hues are starting to fade as the leaves fall, the sky turns gray, and the bare branches remind me that winter is coming. 

And (see above) I hate winter.

But there is just something about this time of year- this precise time of year- this fading, and graying, and chilling time of year. It is, most ironically, one of my most favorite times of year.

The changing of the seasons teaches us something, something about change and renewal and how things never stay the same. Sure Spring always feels more hopeful as green leaves and colorful buds peek through brown grass and cracked side walks, reminding us of the life that begins anew after a cold, tough winter. But this time of year, as a deepening cold moves in and the life giving green goes dormant, I am reminded of the need to step back, take a deep breath, and just slow down. 

The days are shorter. Night falls quickly. Our homes beg us inside far sooner than those long, hazy summer nights. 

With these early evenings my penchant to be productive wanes. It's a lovely excuse to be ok with the undone. To cuddle up inside the warmth and plan low key evenings with those I love the most. To take those dark mornings slowly and find new ways to play before the sun wakes and seems to beckon me to start checking off the ever growing to do list. Sure modern electricity affords us light by which to remain productive even as the moon is high in the sky. But something about the world's darkness tells me it's ok to take my time, to be as lazy as the sun and wake a little more slowly.

I'll soon come to long for the light again. I'll soon despise the frigid temperatures still to come. I'll long for long, warm sunny days and green and white and yellow and pink blossoms on the trees.

I will still despise winter.

But I love the changing of the seasons. 

I love the change of pace.

I am leaning in to this time of year, slowing down, and finding peace in the darkness.