reflections as a new mom of two

I am sitting in stillness this morning. The toddler has gone to "school" for the day. The baby is still sleeping after her 5:30 am feeding. The sun is rising in my backyard. I've spent some time in prayer, praying for my children, praying over us as parents.

I've made a list. A list of two things. Two things I want to accomplish in addition to baby rearing today. In the midst of snuggles and feedings and naps (I need one too) and spit ups and burps. In the midst of other list making as we prepare for Easter and a birthday. In the midst of recovery from a difficult delivery. In the midst of reminiscing, what was he like at this age?

I read this most beautiful piece by Sarah Bessey this week: here we are again @ www.sarahbessey.com.

Yes, here we are again. I am trying my best to soak it all in, to mother without (in spite of?) fear. To hold my baby without fear of spoiling. To nurse my baby, on demand, without fear of feeding her too much or creating bad eating habits. To comfort my crying baby without fear of preventing self soothing.  To sit in moments of silence without fear of the "unproductive."

I am grateful the toddler has daycare in these days of post partum recovery. I am grateful for alone time to bond with our newest one. I am grateful for evenings spent playing with our toddler, watching his imagination run wild, witnessing his sincere love for his new sister, remaining in our routine of stories and snuggles before bed. 

And so, yes, here we are again. The days feel so different and yet so much feels the same as though this is how it's always been. 

This. This love.