calling

A Letter to Colin (written before he was born)

Parenting as Art 
by: Gordon Atkinson

you do your best
you do what seems right
in your gut

often maybe even mostly you dont know why you do what you do

and somehow in the delightful mix
of your sin
and your sorrow
and your joy
the two of you bringing your best and your worst to this

a unique and lovely human forms and comes into being

carrying your sins and your virtues
often magnified
and being broken and human and wonderful
like you

Dear Little One,

Daddy sent me this yesterday while I spent another day on bed rest with you. I love the words of this poem. And I have been thinking a lot lately not just about parenting as an art but about parenting as a calling. Your dad and I are broken and so very human…and together in our love for one another, we chose to bring another broken, human, and yet so wonderful being into this world. We are not perfect. You are not perfect. But you were made perfectly. And we were made perfectly. God made us perfectly. Our very humanness, though, takes the perfectly created creations that we are and renders us imperfect beings.

What I like about this poem is that it reminds me that our best and our worst are coming together to make something so wonderful. You are already so wonderful. A mixture of what makes us as your parents both wonderful and not so wonderful at the same time. The mix of sin, sorrow and joy is described as a “delightful mix.” It takes all of that to create an amazing life together. It isn’t all perfect. We make our mistakes. There are traits we wish we didn’t posses, actions we wish we had never taken, words we wish we had never spoken. All of these things are part of the delightful mix that is our life.

Parenting is a calling because it pushes us outside of our limits, our self-created boxes and walls, and asks us to give of ourselves in a way that is bigger and heavier and more grace-filled than anything else we could give our lives to. Before we got pregnant with you, I knew that being a mother was a calling for me…or at least I wanted it to be my calling. I knew it was a calling because while it delighted me in my innermost being, it also terrified me to the core. I knew it was not something I could do, or that we could do, without God’s help and blessing. The only way two imperfect people can take on the monumental task of parenting is to rely on God’s infinite wisdom.

Our commitment to you, little one, is to continue to follow this calling as we would with any other. This is not a task we take lightly. We cannot promise we will be perfect in this endeavor. But we will commit to calling on God’s support and wisdom…which will itself come in so many forms through friends and family and experiences…to raise you in the best possible home with a palpable love that you will never have to question.