Ah... I am an INFJ to a tee. I embrace my INFJ-ness. An introvert. An intuitive. A feeler. A judger (blah, hate that word! It doesn't mean what it seems--it means I'm a planner...I love a good schedule :)). Oh, and if you have no idea what I am talking about, INFJ is my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. If you have never taken this test, it's fun and a great way to learn a little more about yourself. Check out more information here: http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/.
I love learning these kinds of things about myself, about my tendencies, about why I do the things I do. Friday was the second time I have taken this inventory, and I am always surprised by one letter in this combo--the letter F. It means I am Feeler (versus Thinker) and yet...some days I feel like I can never turn my brain off--I can never stop thinking!
Yes, while I tend to make decisions with my "heart leading my head," I am still very much a THINKER as well. I think, I analyze, I look at situations from every darn angle until I make my head hurt. Molly Barker's recent Girls on the Run blog talks about how much we think and how all that thinking can hinder us from just "being" who we truly are...and embracing our true beauty and "magnificence." Instead of paraphrasing her amazing words, I'll just let you read it here.
Even though I whole heartedly believe in the mission of Girls on the Run (to educate and prepare girls for lifetimes of self-respect and healthy living) and I can wax poetically about how we are bringing this great organization to Hamilton County because we want every girl to know what it's like to live OUTSIDE of the girl box (that suffocating place where girls are valued more for their outward appearances than who they are inside)--I STILL struggle from time to time with girl box issues. I STILL belittle myself when I look in the mirror some mornings(though I am less inclined to do this when I have just finished a long run or pilates class--exercise really does have power over our brains!) and I STILL compare my body with that of the other women in my group fitness classes.
Ugh. Darn thinking.
This is why I also love Operation Beautiful...and if you get nothing more from this post, I hope that this website at least makes it into your favorites: OperationBeautiful.com. Operation Beautiful seeks to "end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.” If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically."
Women like Caitlin(Operation Beautiful)and Molly inspire me. They help me, at 29 years old, continue to work on how I think about myself. And how I, in turn, think about and treat others. I am working on how I think--the words I use when I see myself in the mirror or stand next to a woman whose body fits that day's definition of beauty to me. I am working on not regretting eating a pumpkin donut for breakfast rather than oatmeal (hey, it's Saturday!!). I am working on glancing in the mirror and not finding a single thing to stress over that day. I am working on feeling just as beautiful in a t-shirt and sneakers as I do in a skirt and heels. I am working on not feeling the need to hop on the scale every time I go to the gym.
I am working on just being, living, and loving without THINKING so much.
The ironic thing about running is that it gives me more time to think (ha!). But as I run, I often find clarity in my thoughts, and my thoughts are usually more positive and empowering.
Running is my operation beautiful. When I am in the groove of a great run, I feel strong, I feel beautiful, I feel worthy of love.
What gives you clarity when all of the crazy thoughts of the day start attacking? What is your operation beautiful?
Love Myers-Briggs, and LOVE this post. As a pretty typical ISFJ, I struggle with a lot of the same things you do. Even the thinking part. A lot of the times I embrace my neuroses as part of who I am, but that doesn't mean it still drives me nuts. I would like to be able to look in a mirror and like what I see. I would love to not have to step on a scale. You're right that exercise certainly helps this! What do we do when we're not at the gym or running? How do you deal with this over thinking at, say, work, for example? Thanks for the post and links. Beautiful.
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