an open letter to my husband on father's day

To the man I love,

Our world doesn't give men like you very much credit. We live in a world of articles and blogs celebrating mothers, mothers as nurturers, mothers as birthers, swaddlers, up all nighters. Mothers who stay home, mothers who work, mothers who run, mothers who cook, mothers who... mother.  

We glorify mothers, praise mothers, tell mothers they can have it all, that it's ok if they can't do it all.  We are sure to remind them that they are enough just as they are.

We often fail to recognize the amazing partners helping us mothers not completely fall apart as we work, we run, we cook, we seek to live a life that feels like we do indeed "have it all."  

We celebrate (debate) mothers' choices for feeding.

I've never thanked you for those times you knew just what to say and just how to help during those early days of feeding, when the nights were long, and my body felt like it couldn't give any more.

We constantly remind mothers of the importance of self-care.

I never remind you, the man who comes home after 8+ hours of work, immediately falls to his knees to play blocks or trains with our little boy, wrestles him into the bathtub, then rounds out the evening elbow deep in a sink full of food splattered dishes, to remember to take care of yourself.

We write helpful mommy blogs with tips such as "how to clean your home in less than 30 minutes a day" (as though that's my biggest daily worry).

I take for granted the (many) days the laundry gets done, the garbage gets emptied, the dishwasher gets loaded (and run), the checks get written, the toys get put back in their organized places.

And yet...

Without you:

Colin would miss out on pony rides to his bedroom,

a stalwart set of shoulders giving him the best view at the zoo,

slam dunks on the basketball goal,

foot races down the hallway.

Without you:

I wouldn't be able to mother 

without completely falling apart.

Thank you for fathering alongside me, being a true partner in this journey of love, committing to Colin and me each and every day.

Thank you for being the father that I hope Colin someday gets to be.

Thank you.

Just.  Thank you.

Love always.